Топ игр на windows 2000

This feature was originally published on October 19, 2009.

In the 2000’s, gaming went through one of its most prosperous growth periods. Gone were the Sega vs. Nintendo “Bit Wars” that dominated the ‘90. In their place was the three-way battle for console supremacy that still exists today: Sony vs. Microsoft vs. Nintendo.

We had the Playstation 2, which sold a record-breaking 155 million units over the course of its lifetime. We had the Wii, which reinvigorated gaming on a mainstream level, more than any console since the original NES. We had the Xbox, the newcomer that prioritized processing power above all else.

And gamewise, we had everything from narrative epics, to sports simulations, to open world sandboxes. Here are our picks for the Top 100 games of the 2000’s.

Released: 2000

Developer/Publisher: Hitmaker/Strangelite for Sega/Acclaim/Activision

Platform(s): PS2, GC, DC, PC

Before this highly addictive arcade hit found its way to other consoles, Crazy Taxi was one of the most popular titles available for Dreamcast. And it ain’t hard to see why: its tight but fun driving controls, highly intricate worlds, and enjoyable missions were all we needed before GTA.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The taxis in the game are designed after Cadillacs, Chevrolets, and a 1949 Buick.

Released: 2000

Developer/Publisher: Maxis for EA

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, GC, PC

We still aren’t so sure that it’s good to play anything described as a «strategic life-simulation,» but hey, living a real life can be scary, so go ahead and play God to some mini-people, build them a nice career, start a family, and then let them all starve to death while you masturbate to climax.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The fake «Simlish» language is a mash-up of fractured Ukranian, French, and Tagalog. And if you know how to speak it, you probably need to get a life.

Released: 2005

Developer/Publisher: Konami for Konami

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, PC

Before EA’s FIFA came through and crushed the buildings, Konami’s Pro Evo (a.k.a. Winning Eleven, a.k.a. World Soccer Winning Eleven 8 International) was the first and last name in video-game footy. It feels like a long time ago, but people used to rank WE up there with Madden, and this edition is a good example of why: peerless controls and intuitive, authentic gameplay. Damn, Pro Evo—​​​​​​​in high school, you was the man, homie!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

North London? Man Red? Merseyside Red? Any Pro Evo head recognizes these as the fake team names for Arsenal, Manchester United, and Liverpool. Damn you, lack of team licenses!

Released: 2005

Developer/Publisher: Atlus for Atlus

Platform(s): DS

Making expert use of the DS touchscreen, this game—in which you play a hotshot surgeon with the «Healing Touch»—is maddening for all the right reasons. Just when you think you’ve exhausted all limits of stylus-eye coordination to work medical miracles—well, here comes another mind-bogglingly difficult mission to frustrate you to no end. Ouch.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Ancient Greeks believed that the «Healing Touch» came from Asclepius, the Greek god of medicine.

Released: 2007

Developer/Publisher: Ubisoft Montreal for Ubisoft

Platform(s): 360, PS3, PC

Get medieval on that assassin in this third-person action-adventure as a sword-swinging member of the Brotherhood trying to protect the world from the Illuminati-like group that’s bent on subjugating people with religious visions produced by an artifact that makes them hallucinate. Whoa. Peyote anybody?

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The assassin Altair’s targets are based on real 1191 movers and shakers like the Regent of Jerusalem Majd Addin, Grand Master of the Knights Hospitaller Garnier de Nablus, and Abu-l Nuqoud, the wealthiest man in Damascus. Seems like some racial profiling going on, no?

Released: 2000

Developer/Publisher: Io Interactive for Eidos Interactive

Platform(s): PC

The game that started a multi-game, multi-movie franchise, Hitman has you follow the mysterious, barcoded Agent 47 as he attempts to piece together his past while following out CIA orders. With its third-person view, first-person controls, and sick storyline, it carved out an entire lane for itself in the stealth genre.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The game remains the only entry in the Hitman series to be exclusively playable on the PC.

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: Number None Inc/Hothead Games for Microsoft Game Studios/Number None inc.

Platform(s): 360, PS3, PC

It doesn’t look like great shakes, but if you’ve tried even the first few levels of this cult classic, you know it’s a mindbender. Imagine being Mario, but you CONTROL TIME. Great game, and judging from Soulja Boy’s reaction, great game…on weed.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

With its 93% Metacritic score, Braid is the highest-rated game on the XBLA.

Released: 2005

Developer/Publisher: Q Entertainment/Opus/Fupac for Ubisoft

Platform(s): PSP, PC

A worthy heir to Tetris as the portable-puzzle-game-you-can’t-live-without, Lumines was the only PSP title worth playing for the first few years of the handheld’s existence. You advance through «skins» by dropping blocks in one of two colors; align them with other blocks of the same color to make them disappear. Addictive as fuck, and that’s without mentioning the hypnotizing soundtrack that changes to synchronize with gameplay. Seriously, Lumines invaded our dreams.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Want to listen to music from the game? It is available online here.

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Incog Inc. for Sony Computer Entertainment

Platform(s): PS2

The first PlayStation had multiple classics under the Twisted Metal franchise, so expectations were sky high when Black dropped in the summer of 2001. With some of the best graphics at the time and one of the era’s darkest storylines, expectations were more than surpassed, making TMB one of PS2’s first must-have games.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The multiplayer-only Twisted Metal: Black Online was later released for free with Sony’s Network Adapter.

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: Firaxis for 2K Games

Platform(s): 360, PS3, DS

With Revolution, the legendary Sid Meier put together the most streamlined and accessible iteration of the digital crack-cocaine that he passes off as an innocent turn-based strategy/sim series. Cutting the length and complexity of the PC versions brought this to the console and portables in a huge way, getting an entirely new crowd hooked and paving the way for the strategy genre’s future. You, too, can be a sim geek!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

This game will crush your life. Stay far, far away if you know what’s good for you.

Released: 2000

Developer/Publisher: Angel Studios for Rockstar Games

Platform(s): PS2

Of the mostly average games available around the PS2 launch in the fall of 2000, this thuggish gem definitely stands out from the pack. Guess what? Dealing with the border patrol in video games is just as shitty as it is in real life.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Some complained about the game’s high level of difficulty and the fact that the police vehicles are significantly faster than yours. You know what? MAN UP!

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: Nintendo EAD for Nintendo

Platform(s): Wii

Not just one of the best racing games ever, but one of the most fun video games ever! The graphics aren’t all that, but you’ll hardly notice once you get rolling through the surprisingly detailed worlds in an array of easy-to-control vehicles. What you will notice is that you just spent five hours racing virtual go-karts.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Before deciding on the wheel that wound up packaged with every copy, the developers tested over 30 prototypes.

Released: 2009

Developer/Publisher: Namco Bandai for Namco Bandai

Platform(s): 360, PS3, PSP

One of the most respected fighting game franchises gets a fresh update for 2009 with new characters and bosses along with new game modes like «Bound,» which allows you to really beat your opponent’s ass when they’re down and out. All’s fair in blood and gore.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Tekken 6 was the first game to be released for the PS3 -based System 357 arcade board.

Released: 2007

Developer/Publisher: Turn 10 Studios for Microsoft Game Studios

Platform(s): 360

Going for the racing-sim throne, Microsoft loads the third installment of the Forza series with so many new features that it ships on two discs! The physics and the graphical detail have been vastly improved, the Xbox Live integration is fully realized, and there’s now enough in-game assistance to make anyone feel like Mike Schumacher—even if you drive like Halle Berry.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Every car in Forza 3 was built with 10 times the amount of polygons as in Forza 2.

Released: 2005

Developer/Publisher: Amusement Vision for Sega

Platform(s): PS2

Pretty much everything about this game, from its combat mechanics to its mafia storyline, is standard action-adventure fare, but Yakuza earns its place on the list because it has one of the most faithful recreations of Tokyo we’ve ever seen in a video game, right down to the Boss coffee adverts. And boy, do we love Tokyo.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Michael Madsen and Mark Hamill provide voices in the game. Wait, they were available?

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Camelot Software Planning for Nintendo

Platform(s): GBA

Who says the only good RPGs are Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest? As Issac, you lead a group of magic «adepts» who make a journey around the world (Weyward, not Earth) to save it from absolute destruction. The plot line, visuals, and battle system are all worthy of a proper console game, making it the best handheld RPG we’ve ever played.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Golden Sun was originally going to be designed for the N64 but with GameCube in the works, it became a Game Boy Advance title.

Released: 2004

Developer/Publisher: Namco/Now Production for Namco

Platform(s): PS2

You’re a magical space ball sent to earth with the ability to pick up anything you roll over, growing in size as you pile on more and more stuff. Anything is fair game, starting with small objects like thumbtacks and ants, eventually leading to people, houses, and mountains as the game progresses. Crazy original and crazy fun.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The game’s Japanese name translates to «clump spirit.»

Released: 2006

Developer/Publisher: Capcom Production Studio 1 for Capcom

Platform(s): 360

The makers of the movie Zombieland definitely owe royalties to Capcom, because the film is basically Dead Rising come to life. Improvised weapons? Check. Classic American backdrops? Check. Shitloads of gruesome zombies to kill in comical ways? Check, check, check! We love this game, even if we owned it before we invested in a HDTV, making all that little-ass text impossible to read.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Germany banned the game due to its graphic violence.

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Factor 5/LucasArts for LucasArts

Platform(s): GC

While flying around and shooting stuff isn’t always our cup of tea, we have to admit: This GameCube launch title isn’t your average aerial dog-chase game. With thousands of allies and foes flying around you at top speed, it gets a little hectic out there. Even if it is pretty damn difficult, consider it a fun flight sim for people that don’t normally mess with flight sims.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The game spans all three original trilogy Star Wars films and none of the shitty prequel trilogy that followed.

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Intelligent Systems for Nintendo

Platform(s): GBA

Advance Wars offers deep gameplay and clean cartoon visuals with so many options that the replay value is infinite. You command a small army of grunts and officers on a strategical layout map laced with colorful and cute graphics. Yes, cute, but still deadly—as a top-down strategy game, AW crams a lot of tactical controls and schematics into a tiny console. Throw your guns in the air for this one.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Due to 9/11, Nintendo canceled the originally scheduled Japanese release of the game. It was later released as part of a two-in-one compilation in 2004 with its sequel, Advance Wars 2.

Released: 2000

Developer/Publisher: Kronos for Eidos Interactive

Platform(s): PS

Pushing PlayStation One to its absolute limits, FE is a dazzling mix of puzzles, gun-bucking, and awesome cel-shaded animation. The futuristic plot line, chock-full of supernatural intrigue, is compelling enough that we didn’t mind the fact that the game came on four—yep, count ’em—four discs. Fitting that the game takes place in China, since we copped the entire game on bootleg in Chinatown! Aha!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The planned film adaptation was originally bought (and dropped) by Uwe Boll, then picked up (and dropped) by Mindfire Entertainment. In short—the project is dead.

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: Rockstar San Diego for Rockstar Games

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, PC

The sequel to Rockstar’s hit arcade-racing game has more detailed cities (Paris, Los Angeles, and New York) along with an awesome multiplayer mode. The characters are a little stereotypical (what do you expect from the GTA team?) but the Capture the Flag mode is still ill.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Due to its graphic nature (you’re able to run over pedestrians) MCII originally came with a «M» rating which was later brought down to «T».

Released: 2005

Developer/Publisher: Double Fine Productions for Majesco Entertainment

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, PC

Tim Schafer’s psychedelic platformer adventure debuted back in ’05, instantly making it one of the standout titles of the last gen. The charm Schafer brought to PC adventures Monkey Island, Full Throttle, and Day of the Tentacle is in full effect here and solidifies Psychonauts place as the quintessential «if you know, you know» games of the Aughts.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The Psychonauts concept came from a sequence that Schafer thought up for Full Throttle in which the main character takes peyote, but LucasArts deemed it too inappropriate to include in the 1995 game.

Released: 2005

Developer/Publisher: Capcom for Capcom/Ubisoft

Platform(s): PS2, PC

DMC2 was almost universally hated on, so there was a lot of pressure on Capcom to make up for its mistakes with the third installment. Though the game might be a little too hard, the highly stylized fighting system and memorable storyline got the Devil May Cry franchise back into good graces with gamers worldwide.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Capcom released a special edition of DMC3 with slightly different boss fights one year after the original’s release.

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: EA Canada for EA Sports BIG

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, GC

Hosted by Bobbito Garcia (a.k.a. Cucumber Slice), NBA Street Vol. 2 comes fully equipped with a great soundtrack and a stupefying collection of tricks that even And1 players wouldn’t try—all that, plus three Michael Jordans. It’s childish and unrealistic, and that’s a compliment. There’s a reason we wasted so many quarters on NBA Jam when we were little.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Unlockable characters include Bobbito, Just Blaze, and Nelly and the St. Lunatics. Finally, the VG version of Murphy Lee we were all waiting for.

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: Konami/Team Silent for Konami

Platform(s): PS2, PC

Some would argue that Silent Hill 2 is the better of the sequels—and they’d be wrong. From wrapping up loose ends to just generally offering up a world even more disturbingly sick than the O.G., this is the definitive Silent Hill experience of the 128-bit gen.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Bergen St. Station is featured in the subway section of the game. It’s a real-life Brooklyn train station, but its inclusion in SH3 was directly inspired by the film Jacob’s Ladder (1990).

Released: 2000

Developer/Publisher: Sega — AM3 for Sega

Platform(s): DC, PC, GBA

Since tennis is basically just tennis, it’s been hard for any video game to top the O.G. Nintendo version. Until the arrival of this one, that is. Gameplay is just as simple and fun as the ’84 classic—with 10x better graphics, mind you—but it’s the single-player World Circuit Mode and its collection of stupefyingly addictive mini-games that really make VT a legend.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The game is called Power Smash in Japan. Ayo!

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Team Ico for Sony Computer Entertainment

Platform(s): PS2

This commercial flop became a cult classic thanks to a sweeping, minimalist design that pushes the artistic envelope. In an often silent, romantic adventure, a boy with horns named Ico gets locked in a castle, where he meets another prisoner named Yorba, who happens to be the daughter of the castle’s queen. The two spend the game trying to escape, holding hands the entire time. Adorable.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

In 2005, the team behind Ico released a loose prequel called Shadow of the Colossus, which appears later on this list.

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: Frontier Developments for Frontier Developments

Platform(s): Wii

One of the launch titles for Nintendo’s downloadable WiiWare service, this short but sweet side-scrolling adventure gives you the awesome ability to control the wind. Using the motion of the Wiimote, you can direct gusts of wind that lift your character (and various objects), effectively giving you the power of limited flight. Next to a Bangkok red-light tour, it’s the best $10 you’ll ever spend.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

A sequel called LostWinds: Winter of the Melodias was recently released.

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: Sora for Nintendo

Platform(s): Wii

Where to even begin? Wait, we know. SSB Melee on the GameCube loses its place on this list to SSB Brawl for one simple reason: Brawl‘s introduction of third-party characters like the much-requested Sonic. Finally, Sega and Nintendo can face off and fight! If that wasn’t enough, this Wii title features Solid Snake, a roster of 37 Nintendo characters, and «final smash» attacks that left us battling for hours on end.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Designer Masahiro Sakurai said that Metal Gear Solid creator Hideo Kojima «practically begged» for Solid Snake to be included in SSB Melee. Hideo had to wait a game (and about seven years) to get his wish.

Released: 2009

Developer/Publisher: EA Black Box for EA

Platform(s): 360, PS3

With this solid sequel, Tony Hawk’s only competition went from underdog franchise to the new skate-game standard. No need for extreme sports gimmicks here, just great mechanics and a next-gen-worthy attention to detail. Yeah, it’s a little harder than previous skateboarding games, but we were waiting for the challenge.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

As downloadable content, the game gives you the option to skate in and around Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory.

Released: 2009

Developer/Publisher: Rockstar North for Rockstar Games

Platform(s): DS, PSP

Everything you love about GTA—only with a touchscreen! Yep, Chinatown Wars has all the violence, crime, and lawless fuckery of the franchise in handheld form, with a charmingly retro return to the overhead perspective of the O.G. GTA games. The just-released PSP version has a lot to live up to.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The music in the opening titles is the song «Chinatown Wars,» by MF Doom and Ghostface. Gyeah!

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Croteam for Gathering of Developers

Platform(s): 360, XBOX, PC

A lamely-titled first person shooter from an obscure developer that was originally released only for PCs, SS became a juggernaut franchise based on depth of plot, gameplay, and humor (OK, maybe the name isn’t so bad after all). Never to be confused with the Sean Penn flick I Am Sam (though released in the same year), Serious Sam still gets props as one of the best action-adventure games of the decade.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Developer Croteam had only six employees and four contractors when Serious Sam was conceived and produced.

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: EA Tiburon for EA Sports

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, GC

The NCAA Football franchise was always on the radar, but it was around the 2004 edition that we really became devotees. Maybe it was the addition of «College Classics,» or the improved create-a-school feature, or just the sheer depth of the game (downloading player names was a MUST)—whatever the case, we’re indebted to the NCAA series for holding us down in the years when Madden sucked.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Only two players have appeared on the covers of both NCAA Football and Madden: Shaun Alexander (NCAA 2001, Madden 2007 ) and Larry Fitzgerald (NCAA 2005, Madden 10).

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: Ready At Dawn Studios for Sony Computer Entertainment

Platform(s): PSP

We’d been playing a fuckload of Lumines on the PSP and waiting for another original title to knock our portable-gaming socks off when the good ol’ God of War delivered. Chains of Olympus retains the franchise’s epic battles, challenging puzzles, and addictive orb-collecting in handheld form, making our daily commute a breeze for most of 2008.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

According to game director Ru Weerasuriya, multiplayer and co-op modes had to be cut from the game due to time constraints.

Released: 2004

Developer/Publisher: Team Ninja for Tecmo

Platform(s): PS3, XBOX

Ninja Gaiden is technically the prequel to the Nintendo games we grew up on, all grown-up and deadly on the first Xbox. More beheadings, please!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The game was originally supposed to occur in the setting for Dead or Alive, until the producers decided it would be better to create its own world.

Released: 2002

Developer/Publisher: Capcom for Capcom

Platform(s): GC, Wii

The first game to come out of Capcom and Nintendo’s three-year exclusivity deal features a bevy of new goodies, including an all-new «partner zapping system» so players can play as both Rebecca and Billy throughout the entire game. Yet like Fox and Scully, for some reason Rebecca and Billy never smash. C’mon, people. It’s stressful out here!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

This was the last game in the series to use the original Resident Evil engine before it was completely revamped for Resident Evil 4.

Released: 2007

Developer/Publisher: Aspyr Media for Eidos Interactive/LucasArts

Platform(s): XBOX, PS3, DS, Wii

It doesn’t get better than being able to playing through every Star Wars movie, scene by scene, controlling any character from the Lucas universe. Except when everything is made out of Legos, forcing you to destroy and rebuild your way through the surprisingly witty game. Double nostalgia!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

After the success of Star Wars, Lego adapted Batman and Indiana Jones into bricked-out versions. Lego Harry Potter has yet to come to fruition.

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Volition, Inc. for THQ

Platform(s): PS2, PC

Xbox launched with Halo and but PS2 gamers were stranded without a must-have FPS when their system came out. Red Faction changed all of that. Before online gaming became the dominant feature in console shooters, this game proved that a great storyline and a sick arsenal are all an FPS really needs.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The game is often remembered for its introduction of Geo-Mod technology, which allows for real-time destruction of environments.

Released: 2006

Developer/Publisher: Clover Studio (PS2)/Ready at Dawn (Wii) for Capcom

Platform(s): PS2, Wii

Traditional Japanese myths come to life in this adventure game with an original visual style, drawing influence from classical Asian ink and wash painting. Art further fuses with action when you use the «Celestial Brush,» where specific brush strokes draw actions and objects into existence. Banjo-Kazooie, this ain’t.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

IGN named Okami «Game of the Year» in 2006.

Released: 2009

Developer/Publisher: EA Canada for EA Sports

Platform(s): 360, PS3

EA added on to the awesomeness of 09 with all-new board play, post-whistle scrums, and first-person fighting. Above all, it’s the peerless gameplay that consistently makes EA’s hockey title one of the best sports franchises running.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Eagles of Death Metal? Rancid? Nickelback? Yep, the NHL 10 soundtrack is about as white as it gets.

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: Nintendo EAD for Nintendo

Platform(s): GC

The tenth installment in the ubiquitous Zelda series, WW finds Link sailing around a bunch of islands in the Great Sea. Landlubbers and the easily bored complained about all the waterworks, but the game’s cel-shading graphics gave the lil’ homie new dimensions of gameplay and Wind Waker became the biggest pre-order title in Nintendo history.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Wind Waker is one of a small handful of games to receive a perfect rating from Famitsu magazine.

Released: 2007

Developer/Publisher: Naughty Dog for Sony Computer Entertainment

Platform(s): PS3

Before that guy from Canada was on most people’s radars, Nathan Drake held it down for gamers with one of PS3’s first killer apps. Shooters have been around forever, but Uncharted made the experience cinematic. The game is hella short but it’s a blast while it lasts. That’s what we told her, at least.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

A film adaption is rumored to be in the works. Somebody get Aubrey’s agent on the phone!

Released: 2007

Developer/Publisher: Red Storm Entertainment for Ubisoft

Platform(s): 360, PS3, PSP, XBOX, PC

It was a decent-at-best FPS on most platforms, but a triumph on the 360. A tactical shooter with a innovative cover system (sorry, Cliffy B), first- or third-person POV, and the usual Tom Clancy military espionage, this one made sure everything remained GRAW.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Microsoft made this game available on XBL’s Games on Demand.

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: Ubisoft Montpellier for Ubisoft

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, GC, PC

A futuristic action-adventure featuring a female investigative reporter and her slightly Shrek-y boar sidekick, BG&E was a commercial flop upon its release but has since achieved cult status. Sorta like Devin the Dude’s Just Tryin’ Ta Live, except set on a mining planet 400 years in the future.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

BG&E was conceived as the first in a trilogy of games, but those plans were initially scrapped due to the original’s commercial failure. However, a sequel is currently in the works.

Released: 2000

Developer/Publisher: Blizzard North for Blizzard Ent.

Platform(s): PC

Before Blizzard completely zombified a nation of nerds with World of Warcraft, they turned the RPG world upside down with what was one of the first adventures geared toward online multiplayer play. Sound familiar? There’s a reason it became the fastest-selling video game of all time—at least until a little company called Bungie came along.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

A million copies in two weeks may not sound that crazy, but it was enough for a Guinness World Record in 2000.

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: Lionhead Studios for Microsoft Game Studios

Platform(s): 360

It’s what every sequel should be—the original, only better. The second edition of this action-RPG has all the choose-your-own-adventure fun of the first but this time you can be a female and you can get STDs. Peter Molyneux, you did it again! You’s a genius!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

PETA named Fable II—which awards points for eating non-meat products—the most animal-friendly game of 2008.

Released: 2000

Developer/Publisher: Visual Concepts for Sega

Platform(s): DC

What’s commonplace now was mind-blowing back then: seamless online play in a console sports game. Along with that groundbreaking feature, 2K1 is notable for its innovations to the passing game, including realistic pump fakes and distinctions between bullet and lob passes. EA was definitely paying attention.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The NFL signed an exclusive deal with EA in December 2004, effectively killing off all non-Madden football titles.

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Capcom for Capcom

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, PC

A samurai and a female ninja pursue a warlord in 16th-century Japan. It might be a Merchant Ivory movie if it wasn’t so KATANA-SWINGINGLY KICKASS. Come for the swordplay, stay for the fighting-the-final-boss-while-wearing-a-panda-suit. Yeah, that’s right.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Originally designed for the PlayStation (and moved to the PS2 when halfway through development), the game was made more difficult for its Xbox port under the name Genma Onimusha.

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: EA Canada for EA Sports BIG

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, GC, GBA

Before the Tony Hawk series set the formula, skateboard video games were pretty hard to make, so snowboarding games presented an easy alternative for developers—similar trick combos, less complicated settings. For the sequel to Tricky, EA created a super-fun (if a bit bizarro) representation of snowboarding that’s hard to put down once you get over the terrible music and over-the-top gameplay elements.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Purchasing accessories in the game allows you to distinguish you character from others. Even in video games, you are what you consume.

Released: 2002

Developer/Publisher: Nintendo R&D1 for Nintendo

Platform(s): GBA

The fourth installment in the legendary Metroid series bears a strong resemblance to the O.G. classic Super Metroid on the SNES—and that’s an effing great thing. You get the same Samus but all-new tricks as you battle a bizarro Samus in space while dealing with a parasitic virus that causes all sorts of intergalactic fuckery. Get ready, pop it, let’s go!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Metroid Fusion is the first 2D Metroid game with animated cut scenes.

Released: 2009

Developer/Publisher: Chair Entertainment for Microsoft Game Studios

Platform(s): 360

Unashamedly inspired by SNES classic Super Metroid, this brought the HD era back to its 2D roots in spectacular fashion. The variety of weapons, abilities, and upgrades in this game (plus subterraneous scumbags to try them all out on) makes this the best side-scroller since, well, Super Metroid.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

In the beginning of Shadow Complex‘s four-year development cycle, developer Chair mapped the entire game out on graph paper and played it out to make sure everything worked. Analog style, FTW.

Released: 2002

Developer/Publisher: Rockstar North for Rockstar Games

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, PC

Rockstar’s follow-up to GTAIII pays homage to the drug trafficking decadence of ’80s Miami, inspired by Miami Vice (the TV series, not the flaccid Colin Farrell version) and Scarface. Want to flood the country with yayo? Now you can! This is how Officer Rawse did it, too.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Star-studded Vice City features Ray Liotta as the protagonist, parolee Tommy Vercetti, as well as Dennis Hopper, Burt Reynolds, Luis Guzmán, Danny Trejo, Gary Busey, Jenna Jameson, and Philip Michael Thomas, who played Tubbs on Miami Vice.

Released: 2000

Developer/Publisher: Rare for Nintendo

Platform(s): 360, N64

The spiritual descendant of the legendary GoldenEye 007, PD took its predecessor’s classic FPS format to the 20th century with high-resolution graphics and a Dolby Surround Sound system that were revolutionary for their times. You can have Lara Croft any day, we’re still riding for Joanna Dark.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

PD was the last major first-person shooter to come out for the Nintendo 64.

Released: 2006

Developer/Publisher: Bethesda Softworks for 2K Games

Platform(s): 360, PS3, PC

Swords and sorcery and social awkwardness were always well-repped by the Elder Scrolls franchise, but it wasn’t until you had to go to hell and back to save the world that things achieved classic status. Huge open-world RPG adventure with high-def slaughter galore.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The game’s rating was changed from «T» to «M» a month after release when a mod was discovered for the PC version that allows you to play with topless female characters.

Released: 2000

Developer/Publisher: SEGA-AM2 for Sega

Platform(s): DC

With its fascinating open world and realistic weather effects, Shenmue was clearly ahead of its time. (And costing a reported $70 million, it certainly should’ve been.) But more than any gameplay element, it’s the compelling story of a teenager avenging his father’s death that sticks with us to this day. Well, that and a seriously awesome score.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Ryo was also a playable character in Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing.

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: EA Canada for EA Sports

Platform(s): 360, PS3, Wii, PS2, PC, PSP, DS

FIFA already had the kit and stadium licenses, but it took the fútbol gaming trophy with improved ball-touch (pause), a collision, and jostling system that accounted for size differences (Freddy Adu ain’t pushing anybody off a ball), user-controlled goal celebrations (especially fun against a human opponent), and updates based on real-world player performances. Floors you like a slide tackle.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Although the game’s tagline is «Let’s FIFA 09!», FIFA is not an actual verb, it’s an acronym for soccer’s governing body: Federation Internationale de Football Association. Damned educational system’s gone to shit.

Released: 2002

Developer/Publisher: Nintendo EAD for Nintendo

Platform(s): GC

The GameCube’s only real Mario adventure, Sunshine is essentially a prettier version of Super Mario 64, but with a few cool new tricks and treats. Especially neat and really fun are the 2.5D platforming levels that are interspersed throughout the games 3D core—the remixed renditions of the classic Super Mario Bros. themes that play throughout these levels are pretty much the shit too.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Nintendo spent a few months of development on the prototyping of Sunshine‘s main gameplay mechanics before deciding that this would actually be a Mario game.

Released: 2000

Developer/Publisher: Omega Force for KOEI

Platform(s): PS2

Loosely based on ancient Chinese history, this epic hack-and-slash game was one of the PS2’s launch titles. Its stunning graphics and chaotic crowd battles set a new standard for third-person fighters early in the new decade.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The game’s eight stages are based on one fictional battle and seven real-life clashes, fought during the lead up to China’s Three Kingdoms period, from 184 to 234.

Released: 1999

Developer/Publisher: Ubisoft for Ubisoft

Platform(s): PS, PS2, DC, PC, DS, GBC

Though debuting a little bit earlier on the N64 (and also appearing later on the PS2), it’s without a doubt the Dreamcast version of this title that really delivered the goods. One of the first truly great-looking games of the last gen, the limbless wonder’s second adventure filled a crucial gap in the years between Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Sunshine.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Rayman 2 was initially planned to appear only on the original PlayStation and Saturn.

Released: 2005

Developer/Publisher: Quantic Dream for Atari

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, PC

Adventure games received a serious defibrillation from French outfit Quantic Dream in the fall of ’05 with this cinematic, emotionally deep game. For fans of the genre, playing this paranormal thriller was as revolutionary as that first time playing King’s Quest, with innovations that include creative usage of both analog sticks and a meter that measures mental health.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Known as Fahrenheit outside North America, publisher Atari pushed the name change due to fears of being confused with Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11.

Released: 2005

Developer/Publisher: Rockstar Toronto for Rockstar Games

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, PSP

Bringing the beat-em-up back to the limelight, Rockstar’s love letter to the classic late-’70s film represents its most singularly cohesive and fully-realized vision to date. With its retro-informed, reinvented brawling gameplay and expansive (but never overwhelming) levels, this is open-world done right. We can dig it.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Roger Hill, who plays Cyrus in the film, sued Take-Two Interactive for $250,000 for using his voice and likeness.

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: Bethesda Game Studios for Bethesda Softworks

Platform(s): 360, PS3, PC

Perfectly tuned dark humor means fighting your way through post-apocalyptic Washington D.C. was never so much fun (or so similar to fighting your way through regular D.C.!). Sure, the RPG system ensures that your actions could come back to haunt you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still blow people’s heads off and put them up on a shelf!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

When you kill a Mister Gutsy robot in the game, its dying words are the marching chant from Full Metal Jacket. Fucking fun!

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: EA for EA Sports

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, GC, PC, GBA

The sixth edition in the Woods franchise built on the successes of the ’03 model (namely the analog swing) with an additional seven courses and the appearance of a playable John Daly character. And unlike the real Daly, you could hit the links swigging Jack-and-Cokes and chain-smoking Marlboros and nobody would bat an eye.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Due to the game’s 19 courses, the GameCube version of TWPT had to be spread over two discs.

Released: 2002

Developer/Publisher: Silicon Knights for Nintendo

Platform(s): GC

Sorta like The Da Vinci Code (minus lots of reading and/or watching Tom Hanks’ shriveled dickface), Eternal Darkness centers on an ancient book that sets off a series of time-traveling adventures. Intricate, heady, and seriously effed-up (said tome is made of human flesh and bone), EDkept you up all night—no Viagra needed.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

ED was the first game published directly by Nintendo (not a third-party developer) to receive an «M» from the Entertainment Software Rating Board.

Released: 2005

Developer/Publisher: TEAM ICO for Sony Computer Entertainment

Platform(s): PS2

This game transcends all expectations, defies traditional controls, and advances an entirely new narrative logic. Shadow of the Colossus takes the familiar princess-in-peril storyline and works it into a landscape where you and your horse travel over a vacant countryside, searching for the misunderstood giants that you must climb to oxygen-deprived heights to destroy. Your morality as a character is challenged throughout this emotional trek—call us soft but it definitely got a little dusty in the room by journey’s end.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The viral marketing campaign for Shadow led people to websites claiming that the remains of five giants resembling certain colossi had been discovered in various parts of the world.

Released: 2006

Developer/Publisher: Nintendo EAD for Nintendo

Platform(s): Wii, GC

While there aren’t many Zelda titles to pick from in the Aughts, this one would merit recognition on any list. We’re already used to Link saving the Princess and Hyrule while fighting foes and demons, but this time around things are a little darker. Twilight Princess delivers what other Zelda games have lacked—a sense of maturity and seriousness.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Twilight Princess was originally slated to be released in 2005 with the title The Wind Waker 2.

Released: 2006

Developer/Publisher: Nintendo EAD for Nintendo

Platform(s): Wii

Having Wii Sports as the Wii launch title was both a gift and curse for Nintendo. It was a gift because the interactive tennis, bowling, and golf fully exploited the unique capabilities of the innovative new console—but it was also a curse because many Wii owners never felt the need to buy another game.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

In some rehabilitation centers around the world, Wii Sports has been used as a means of physical therapy.

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: Kojima Productions for Konami

Platform(s): PS3

Ten years after Metal Gear Solid (and 20 after the original Metal Gear) came what was arguably the most cinematic PS3 title ever. Stealth, humor, epic cut-scenes, and plenty of jungle action for your beloved Snake. Wait, that came out wrong.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

A Little Big Planet expansion pack featured skins based on Old Snake, Raiden, Meryl, and Screaming Mantis. Sack up and play!

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Square for Square EA

Platform(s): PS2

Almost every previous Final Fantasy, especially the three on PS1, were incredibly well-received. By late 2001, RPG-fanatics were eager to see how the franchise would transition to PS2. Square delivered by upping the ante in every way possible: better graphics, storytelling, and combat system. Now when people debate over which Final Fantasy is the illest, FFX is usually at the top of the list.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

FFX had a budget of over $30 million.

Released: 2006

Developer/Publisher: EA Chicago for EA Sports

Platform(s): 360, PS3, PS2, XBOX, PSP

The Xbox 360 had been out for almost three months before the release of a game that truly flexed its next-gen capabilities—and that game was Fight Night Round 3. The actual boxing gameplay isn’t significantly different from past editions—read: fun as shit—but it’s the HD blood, sweat, and tears that elevate FNR3 to an all-time champ.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The Burger King «King» appears in the game as a selectable trainer.

Released: 2000

Developer/Publisher: Ion Storm for Eidos Interactive

Platform(s): PS2, PC

The thrilling paranoia in Warren Spector’s RPG/FPS/stealth/action/adventure magnum opus has yet to be matched since its release at the beginning of the decade. This genre-bending title is as thought-provoking as it is fun.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Even though it came out pre-9/11, Deux Ex has a skyline without the trade towers; the game’s backstory reveals that they were destroyed by terrorists. Let’s hope the developers weren’t as prescient with the game’s pandemic plot line.

Released: 2002

Developer/Publisher: Retro Studios, Inc. for Nintendo

Platform(s): GC

Almost a decade after Super Metroid captivated millions of SNES gamers, Nintendo followed up with the series’ first 3D game and gave owners of the struggling GameCube something to be happy about. The first-person perspective is a bit weird at first, but after a little time with this outer-space epic, it quickly becomes a non-issue. The plot is kinda weak, but the action is a prime example of the genre’s best.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

An enhanced Japanese version of the game was released for the Wii in 2009.

Released: 2002

Developer/Publisher: Square for Square Electronic Arts

Platform(s): PS2

Okay, so a Square Enix x Disney collabo seems a bit childish, but don’t front, this game is a classic. You play as Sora, a boy separated from his friends who has to travel throughout the Disney universes to find them. KH has it all: stunning cut scenes, fluid motion, epic battles, a rewarding storyline, and just the right balance of action and RPG. We won’t tell anyone that it’s one of your favorites, too.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The hypnotizing theme for the game was composed and performed by Japanese pop singer Utada Hikaru.

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: Media Molecule for Sony Computer Entertainment

Platform(s): PS3

We’ve called a lot of people «sackboy» before, but never with the kind of affection we reserve for one of the most perversely charming platformers we’ve ever seen. Peerless level editing and continuous user patches have given the puzzle-heavy winner the longevity to make it one of the PS3’s standout surprises.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Level editing is great and all, but there are enough dick jokes and terrorist attacks to make you think twice.

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Neversoft for Activision

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, GB, PS, N64, PC, GBA, GBC

The third edition of the THPS series is clearly the best. Spending hours to personalize your skater is well worth it when you get to reap the benefits of that immensely satisfying «grab trick + revert + manual + pivot + flip trick + grinding + etc. etc. = 1,000,000,000,000 points» system. No matter how ridiculous the combo, it makes us all feel great knowing that we’re way better at Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater than actual skating. Well, it actually makes us feel like posers, but it’s all good.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

We’ve seen a lot of cool secret characters in games, but skating with Wolverine and Darth Maul in THPS3 might take the cake.

Released: 2004

Developer/Publisher: Rockstar North for Rockstar Games

Platform(s): 360, PS2, XBOX, PC

While it had a lot to live up to, San Andreas more than met expectations. As Carl «CJ» Johnson, you leave Liberty City to return home to Los Santos to face a broken gang, dirty cops (one voiced by none other than Samuel L. Jackson), and never-ending drama. This installment introduces aircraft-jacking, swimming, bigger and better guns, and an awesome sense of ’90s G-Funk-era nostalgia. All that, and 13.9 square miles to terrorize. Chronic!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

«Hot Coffee,» yeah? So drive-by shootings and killing cops is fine, but a little sex scene is gonna ruin the youth? Wow, America. Your priorities are screwed up.

Released: 2007

Developer/Publisher: Nintendo EAD Tokyo for Nintendo

Platform(s): Wii

The first Mario game developed for the Wii literally blasts you into space to explore 42 galaxies filled with hundreds of planets, each with their own eco-system, enemies, and gravity. Its innovative physics system gives you the ability to jump between and fully circumvent the spherical 3D planets. Hands down the best Wii game ever.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Super Mario Galaxy 2, a harder, more involved sequel, got a 2010 release.

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Remedy Entertainment for Gathering of Developers & Rockstar Games

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, PC, GBA

Like an interactive version of The Matrix, this single-handedly brought bullet-time to video games. The unparalleled action set to a graphic novel-stylized noir plot and scummy NYC-underbelly backdrop made for an offer that you couldn’t refuse.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

After releasing ’03’s Max Payne 2, Finnish developer Remedy Entertainment began work on Xbox 360 exclusive Alan Wake, which was released in early 2010.

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: EA Tiburon for EA Sports

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, GC, PS, GBA, PC

The last great last-gen Madden before EA’s early stumbles with its next-gen offerings, the 2004 edition introduced right-analog «playmaker» controls (allowing you to make on-the-spot adjustments during gameplay) and an in-depth ownership mode. Who knew setting concession prices could be so fun?

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Cover athlete Michael Vick has a speed rating of 95, the highest ever for a QB at the time. We’re sure that served him well in the bing.

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: Valve for Microsoft Game Studios

Platform(s): XBOX, PC

It was originally a Half-Life mod, but Valve went ahead and officialized this tactical FPS for general commercial release—and that was all she wrote. Not only is it still played six years after release, but it boasts one of the most insanely dedicated user communities of all time. Blucka blucka!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Police officers in the Chinese city of Tianjin played CS as part of their anti-terrorist training.

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: Valve for EA/Valve

Platform(s): 360, PC

The only way to survive the zombie apocalypse in this disturbing cooperative FPS is to kill in concert with three other survivors (and not accidentally buck them down). There’s no «i» in team, but there are two in «eaten alive by zombies.» And three in «fucking sick shit!»

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Artificial intelligence detects how easily you’re advancing and will adjust the number and type of zombies attacking you to keep things interesting.

Released: 2007

Developer/Publisher: 2K Boston for 2K Games

Platform(s): 360, PS3, PC

This intelligent and freaky first-person shooter follows a plane crash survivor exploring a mysterious underwater «utopia» populated by mutated creatures and mech-monsters. You know a game’s scary when you need the lights on and somebody next to you to play it without shitting yourself. Well, either that or you’re just one big, cowardly bitch.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, director of 28 Weeks Later, worked on a film adaptation that was slated for 2010 release. Unfortunately, the project stalled and became mired in developmental hell.

Released: 2004

Developer/Publisher: Crytek for Ubisoft

Platform(s): XBOX, PC

Jack Carver x archipelago x female journalist = vacation! Except, of course, for the weaponizing of genetic engineering, the genocide of local islanders, and the deformed creatures created by a mad scientist named Krieger. This puppy had it all: beaches, rain forests, canyons, mines, swamps, and volcanoes, oh my. FPS dopeness.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The original PC version features many more extensive worlds that the Xbox didn’t have the juice to handle.

Released: 2004

Developer/Publisher: Bungie Studios for Microsoft Game Studios

Platform(s): XBOX, PC

«But…but…what about Halo 3! It’s the newest version, yo!» Step off noobs, we call the shots on this list. While Halo 3 is definitely entertaining, its impact doesn’t come close to last gen’s Halo 2. Innovative graphics? Check. Cool soundtrack? Check. Dope story? Check. Wielding the dual machine gun and staying up nights blasting fools online? Muthafuckin’ check! Halo 2 changed our lives and changed gaming. Enough said.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Halo 2 closes on a cliffhanger, but it wasn’t the intended ending. Developers planned to offer closure to the story but had to improvise because of a rushed schedule.

Released: 2008

Developer/Publisher: Rockstar North for Rockstar Games

Platform(s): 360, PS3, PC

Bosnian war vet and illegal immigrant Niko comes to Liberty City (a painstakingly meticulous rendering of NYC) to flee the drama in his homeland. Thankfully he finds no peace in LC, ’cause we have far too much fun using him to blow up cop cars, steal fly whips (and choppers…and boats…and aircrafts), and smash women with low self-esteem. No wonder this franchise is the gaming voice of a (de)generation.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

GTA IV is the first game in the series in which hookers actually do their damn job and don’t sit motionlessly in the seat next to you after taking your money.

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Visual Concepts for SEGA

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, GC, DC

They might add graphical bells and whistles every year, but the core gameplay of the consistently impressive 2K franchise has barely changed from the 2002 edition, which basically set the benchmark for all hoops titles to follow. It’s why many still claim—including us—that 2K2 is the best basketball game ever.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Iverson appears on the cover of the first five NBA 2K games. Damn, he used to be good.

Released: 2006

Developer/Publisher: Harmonix Music Systems for Activision/ Red Octane

Platform(s): 360, PS2

Guitar Hero II was the Harmonix dudes’ last stand before they said «eff it» and jumped ship to MTV to go after the whole pie with Rock Band. GHII is a classic because it got all the kinks figured out, the extras locked in, and the greatest songs tapped («Sweet Child O’ Mine,» «Free Bird,» «War Pigs»). Everything after this was cool, but just unnecessary. DJ Hero? We’ll reserve judgment on that for now.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

To play the secret Air Guitar version on the 360, enter Yellow, Blue, Yellow, Orange, Yellow, Blue at the main menu.

Released: 2007

Developer/Publisher: Valve Corporation for EA

Platform(s): 360, PS3, PC

Twenty bones for three of the most innovative games ever within their respective genres (Half-Life 2 as a single-player FPS, Portal as a puzzler, and Team Fortress 2 as team-based multiplayer)? Well, that about settles it: the cake is NOT a lie.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Portal‘s end credits song, «Still Alive,» made its way to Rock Band. So GLaDOS we maaaaade it!

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: BioWare for LucasArts

Platform(s): XBOX, PC

The Star Wars universe is ripe with infinite possibilities, and Bioware took full advantage in developing one of the Xbox’s most memorable titles and probably the best Star Wars game ever. Set 4,000 years before the Vader era, the RPG’s storyline presents a much-needed jolt of originality while paying strong tribute to the endless battle of Jedi and Sith. Way, way, way better than Hayden Christensen and co. did, that’s for sure.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

KOTOR is based on the third-edition Dungeons & Dragons role-playing system. If you already knew that, you’re even a bigger geek than we are.

Released: 2005

Developer/Publisher: SCE Studios Santa Monica for Sony Computer Entertainment

Platform(s): PS3, PS2

In this classic third-person action-adventure, mere mortal Kratos goes on an epic journey to kill Ares, the god of war (and the sadistic fuck who tricked Kratos into slaying his own family while working as his servant). This title set the standard for modern hack-and-slash fun, so much so that «God of War-esque» has become a popular adjective to describe promising new titles in the genre. Unlike old Greek women’s mustaches, this mythology is fun to brush up on.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

A God of War movie was originally slated for 2010 release, but never came to pass.

Released: 2009

Developer/Publisher: EA Tiburon for EA Sports

Platform(s): 360, PS3, Wii, PS2, PSP

It’s hard to pick one Madden above the others as the decade’s best, but most devotees regard this year’s edition as the franchise’s pinnacle. It took about four years, but EA finally mastered the next gen with a no-frills, no-bullshit title that makes solid gameplay—not gratuitous new features—its cornerstone. No matter what type of Madden player you are, there’s no doubt that you love this game.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

10 is the first Madden to feature two cover athletes (Troy Polamalu and Larry Fitzgerald). Polamalu sprained his MCL in the Steelers’ season opener, ensuring the Madden Curse lived on.

Released: 2007

Developer/Publisher: BioWare for Microsoft

Platform(s): 360, PC

Sci-fi games normally come with noisy fanfare, ludicrous weapons, gimmicky boss fights, and plots that are about as scientific as creationist theories. Mass Effect feels like you’ve been beamed into an involving serial drama with real intrigue, compelling dialogue with multiple-choice consequential actions, open environments, and escalating tension, all while feeding our basic human need to kill things that look different than us. It’s a classic, kids.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Fox News and others decried the brief, non-explicit sex scenes in ME; a New York Times article on the controversy compared the raciness of the ME scenes to what is regularly shown on network prime-time television.

Released: 2007

Developer/Publisher: Harmonix Music Systems for MTV Games

Platform(s): 360, Wii, PS2, PS3, PSP

Guitar Hero was a very big stepping stone into the world of music games, but it left us wanting more. Thankfully, Rock Band filled the void. With two guitars, a drum set, and a microphone, the game became a cultural phenomenon that appealed to music heads, families that don’t hate each other, and people in Toledo who need entertainment on Friday nights. So while GH may have opened the door, RB set the bar. And it didn’t even have to resort to homoerotic ads with Kobe and A-Rod!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Players made more than 30 million song purchases of Rock Band‘s 600-plus downloadable tracks.

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: Ubisoft Montreal for Ubisoft

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, GC, PC, GBA

Quite possibly the best-designed game of the last gen, PoP masters the platforming gameplay tropes of years past with the technical brilliance of modern 3D systems and the sheer fluid awesomeness of motion and movement at play—but basically, we just love fucking with the space-time continuum. Even Jake Gyllenhaal on HGH can’t ruin this one.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

The Sands of Time was developed by essentially the same team responsible for Splinter Cell.

Released: 2007

Developer/Publisher: Infinity Ward for Activision

Platform(s): 360, PS3, Wii, PC

Thwarting rebel leaders as USMC and SAS soldiers in storyline mode is entertaining, but this beautiful first person shooter’s multiplayer action is what really bangs. Get up with your boys online to shoot the fuck out of contemporary war zones in the Middle East and Eastern Europe and make it a real gangbang! Now that’s modern warfare.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Technically the eighth Call of Duty game, Modern Warfare is the first to not be set in World War II—which is dope, ’cause Hitler died a long fucking time ago.

Released: 2005

Developer/Publisher: Capcom Production Studio 4 for Capcom

Platform(s): PS2, GC, Wii, PC

Rare is the game that takes an established, much-loved series and rips out its guts and reanimates it into an unbeatable classic. The movement is fluid, the atmosphere and intensity is ratcheted up, and the storyline is more cinematic than most multiplex offerings. Add hundreds of crazed, blank-eyed townies who will stop at nothing to lay their grimy hands on you, and you have the best RE ever. And that’s saying something.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

RE4 was originally to feature regular zombies as bad guys, but to avoid repeating formula, developers decided to make plagas-possessed humans (called «Los Ganados») the enemies.

Released: 2006

Developer/Publisher: Epic Games for Microsoft

Platform(s): 360, PC

In this gory third-person shooter, grizzled Delta Squad soldiers on the planet Sera fight the Locust Horde, a nasty subterranean species that emerged to wipe out humanity. The importance of taking cover and moving strategically is awesome, but really it all boils down to two words: chainsaw bayonet!

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Marcus Fenix, the game’s protagonist, was voiced by John DiMaggio, who also lent his voice to Bender on Futurama.

Released: 2003

Developer/Publisher: Bungie Studios for Microsoft Game Studios

Platform(s): XBOX, PC

Before Halo, anything by Microsoft was pretty much a joke. After Halo…well, there’s the Zune. OK, not really, but this now-legend FPS was Bill Gates’ moment in the gaming sun, and was the title that finally made that gigantic controller make sense. It’s actually a love/hate relationship, because we aren’t really sure if we’re gonna need those hundreds of hours of our lives back. Break out the bong. Discuss.

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Two friends from the University of Chicago started Halo‘s parent company, Bungie, in 1991. It had a series of «eh» moments until it was acquired by Microsoft in 2000 to make the game that would launch the Xbox.

Released: 2001

Developer/Publisher: Rockstar North for Rockstar Games

Platform(s): PS2, XBOX, PC

It is the single most technically significant video game since Super Mario 64 successfully moved games into the 3D-era. GTA III will forever be remembered for being the first of its kind to give players a nigh unbreakable illusion of playing in a living, breathing, and utterly foul world—almost a decade and one next gen later, modern gaming is still the house that GTA built (and then threw a Molotov cocktail through).

YOU AUGHTA KNOW:

Rockstar delayed GTA III‘s release by three weeks (to October 22, 2001) to edit out material it was concerned might be seen as insensitive of the 9/11 attacks.

Summary

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