Самая маленькая windows vista

This is a copy of Windows Vista Ultimate that has been stripped of all the, let’s

not lie, crap it has…

The overall install took me 10minutes on my laptop with 1gb of ram

It only used 5gb of my hardrive unlike the 17gb vista usually does…

If you want the nice look and workings of Vista but have a computer without the specs…

Look no further!!!! Tiny Vista Ultimate is your option

This has the vista aero theme and looks and works just like vista…

To put it short i installed this onto VMware and gave it 128mb or ram and it installed perfectly…

When I gave it 512mb it ran smoother then my xp does on my 2gb computer…

No Activation needed

REQUIREMENTS:

256mb RAM

16mb Video Card

CPU: Tested on many and none have failed Even my 9yr old pc could install it

FILES REMOVED:

ACCESSORIES

————

-Accessibility

-Disk Cleanup

-Mobility Center

-Speech Support

-Welcome Center

-Windows Sidebar and Gadgets

DRIVERS

——-

-Display adapters

-Diva Server

-Modems

-Printers

-QLogic Fibre Channel Adapter

-Scanners

-TV Tuners

GAMES

——

-Game Explorer

-Inbox Games

-Premium Inbox Games

HARDWARE SUPPORT

—————-

-Fax Support

LANGUAGES

———

-Japanese

-Korean

-Simplified Chinese

-Table Driven Text Input Processor

-Traditional Chinese

MULTIMEDIA

———-

-Media Center

-Movie and DVD Maker

-Music and Video samples

-Sample Pictures

-Screensavers

-SideShow

-Wallpapers

-Windows Calendar

NETWORK

——-

-Connect to a Network Projector

-Internet Information Services (IIS)

-Remote Desktop and Assistance

-Windows Collaboration

SERVICES

———

-Diagnostics

-Distributed Transaction Coordinator (DTC)

-Error Reporting

-Volume Shadow Copy

-Windows Search

SYSTEM

——

-Beep

-BitLocker Drive Encryption

-Component Cache (winsxs)

-Digital Locker

-Disk Defragmenter

-Disk Quota

-Guided Help

-Help

-IMAPIv2 Burning Support

-Malicious Software Removal Tool

-Manual Install (Setup.exe)

-******oft Agent

-******oft Message Queue (MSMQ)

-Natural Language

-Parental Controls

-Performance Counters

-Reliability and Performance Monitor

-Remote Differential Compression

-Run a legacy CPL elevated

-Security Center

-Sync Center

-System Restore

-Tablet PC

-User Account Control (UAC)

-Windows Backup

-Windows Defender

-Windows Easy Transfer

-Windows SAT (Performance Index)

-Windows Ultimate Extras

OPTIONS (using vLite)

———————

DEP (Data Execution Prevention) = Disabled (AlwaysOff)

User Account Control (UAC) = Disabled

AntiSpyware Realtime Protection = Disabled

Memory requirement = 256MB

AutoPlay = Disabled

Paging Executive = Enabled

Power scheme = Balanced

Power button = Default

Sleep button = Default

Hibernation = Off

TWEAKS (using vLite)

———————

Control Panel — Classic View = Enabled

Show hidden files and folders = Yes

Show protected operating system files = Yes

Show extensions for known file types = Yes

IE Phishing Filter = Enabled

IE Phishing Verification Ballon Tips = Default

Windows Vista Minion Edition is a new version of Windows Vista. It can simultaneously crash and send complete versions of all your work to various people. Designed specially for minions, when it crashes, the blue-screen of death now no longer comes up. The computer now hums to itself until you admit you are its minion, thus reminding you that you are (or turning you into) a minion. The best way to stop Windows Vista Minion Edition, or WinMin for short, from crashing is to install a new piece of software called the Vista Alternate Glyphic Instant Nuance Anomaliser. This will turn your computer into a sensible computer, but may incur the wrath of the blue screen of death.

Design[edit | edit source]

The original design for WinMin was a simple equation solving machine.

int main() {

printf("No viable hard drive space detected\n");
printf("Press any key to continue\n");

while(1)
{

/* 
printf("ERROR\n");
printf("666\n");
*/
printf("Not a Windows Vista Minion Edition Validated customer!\n");

}
if(runtest(is_USER_a_viable_minion_source()))
    return EPIC_FAIL;
else
    return CATASTROPHIC_FAIL;

}

This was an original excerpt from the code of WinMin. As you can clearly see, the WinMin system is very simply based to defy basic rights to the prospective user. On top of this, we can see usage of an early form of catastrophic failure system programming. This failure will inexplicably lead to the code excerpt below:

init submain()(
create activex controller: designate=minion;
screen=show;
variable index clearwipe:true>active

}
   runtest(var:"alpha">var:"beta")?;
   if true then writecode(screenshow:blue, screentext:bluscrn1);
   if false then runcode(computerstat:infertile);
kill_drive(true);
create partition: partitionvalue(var:"alpha");
delete main drive;
showtext(font:white,"You are a minion");
fade_black;
showtext(font:blue,"beg for mercy")
Activate voice_recog()(
if voice_recog(value:"MINION")
reboot drive;
else delete all files;
activate sulk mode.........

Boot fail drive:
repeat(fail)1000
printf(file:minion_certificate)
get out.

{END}

[edit | edit source]

Картинка с сайта: en.uncyclopedia.co

WinMin Master popup, describing actions on the minion.

The WinMin system also has a setup option for the Minioniser, called MasterMin. This allows the user to send long streams of popups to the minion computers logged to its mainframe. The picture opposite shows a common popup for the MasterMin setup, called the «Error M0N9». It allows the minioniser to kill multiple minions in a matter of moments. Try saying that drunk.

Package[edit | edit source]

The WinMin package is a simple black box, with WinMin logo printed onto it. The interesting part of the design is it will always take exactly three and a half hours to open, at which point it will open violently and shout minion through a series of integrated sound systems and a small minionisation chip. This chip has been known to shout violently at buyers, causing widespread anger and disease amongst many buyers of the item.

Original Package[edit | edit source]

The original package contained a small heated iron which would then press the word minion into the buyers head as he/she opened the box. This caused havoc with the consumer complaints department who sued Bill Gates for the exact amount of money that they lost in consumer battles — £4.5mill. Bill just gave them the money. It means nothing to him anymore.

“Fine, have my money. I will even pay for the cruise to my own personal railway in Portugal, which will take us to my private ownership bank on the highest hill in Switzerland”

After firing his consumer complaints department and liquidating their families, Bill went on to redesign the WinMin package. He added in the first speech implant, and rumors have it he still has the prototype.

Upcoming Packages[edit | edit source]

Rumors also have it that Bill has designed a living box which refuses to open without a large amount of persuasion (£100 to be exact). It then taunts the person and their family until shot with a silver memory stick and then rubbed quickly with a strong magnet. Then you must offer the box as a sacrifice to Bill Gates himself, and pray he takes the soul of the box from the house. Ignoring this last step may activate your computer’s fail drive.

Min_code(min003=designate:fail);
activate_drive(fail_drive);
printf:/(uberfail.doc);

} 
writecode(execute_fail);
runcode(fail_megalaunch);
runtest_fail(winminpack_active);
if test(winminpack_active)=true then
computerstat_change(dead)
else
destroy_humanity(true)

{
active_x(nuclearcontrol_device)

{END}

Manuals[edit | edit source]

The WinMin software is infamous for coming without an official guidebook. The box rips it to shreds in front of your eyes. So various individuals, such as Thomas Denham, have designed books to guide minions in such a way that they are still minions, but are able to complete their job more efficiently. this book is in fact co-written by the Grand High Minion, but he was not mentioned because…well..he’s a minion. And a grand one too.
Most manuals refer to the user as minion, for example: «Now, minion, you must prep your drive for usage. Did you get that, minion?». This use of the word minion was for a time thought to be against the minion charter, but was cleared from guilt in 2007 (if any guilt existed).

TinyVista

TinyVista Rev02 is a bootleg Windows Vista SP1 edition, which was created by eXPerience. It released on July 9, 2008, and was added to the archive on March 7, 2023.

Description

The bootleg is a stripped down Windows Vista SP1 ISO. It has some registry tweaks and updates preinstalled and the typical eXPerience branding and niceties. It is unattended, and preactivated with a crack.

On the first boot of the OS, a command prompt will open, which will automatically activate Windows, and do various other things, such as installing drivers.

The ISO was made using vLite 1.2 beta on Windows Vista SP1.

Changes from Windows Vista SP1

Minor changes

• OEM branding is included

Look and feel

• New default wallpaper

Notes

Bootleg quirks

• There are several notable differences between this bootleg and Tiny7:

1. There is no software preinstalled.
2. OEM branding and changes in the user information is fully present.
3. The Navigation Pane is hidden by default.
4. 2 differences in the «eXPerience» folder. The «Desktop Icon Layout» section are just two registry files, which adds a shell extension, and there are 2 other programs which are not in Tiny7.
5. «Enable Quick Launch.exe» is not present.

• There is a folder on the desktop titled «eXPerience», a common thing to be included in eXPerience’s bootlegs, which include various useful things, which is as follows:

1. An internet shortcut to Comodo Firewall.
2. The entirety of DriverPacks July 2008.
3. The Windows update KB940105. It is a hotfix for nVidia users, which fixes issues with Windows’ memory management.
4. And the rest is just text files, and batch scripts which all do very useful and helpful things. There are about 4 total.

• The command prompt’s foreground color is set to white.
• The taskbar is unlocked.

Default user information

• The full name and organization is set to «eXPerience» and «SnipeR’s Redemption Network» respectively.
• The computer name is set to «eXPerience».

Gallery

• Desktop on first boot

• Empty desktop

• Start menu

• System Properties and About Windows